Short funny family jokes

One day, The husband told his wife when he has been gone home: "Today we have a buffet dinner……"
The wife was very astonished: "Yes. But how did you know?"
"Beacause there is no burnt flavour in our family……"

On the way home one night, I spotted some fresh-cut roses outside a florist's shop. After selecting a dozen and entering the shop, I was greeted by a young saleswoman.

Are these for your wife, sir? she asked.

Yes, I said.

For her birthday? she asked.

No, I replied.

For your anniversary?

No, I said again.

As I pocketed my change and headed toward the door, the young woman called out, I hope she forgives you.

A couple were in the process of divorce, and they were arguing about who will get the custody of the kid.

Wife:"our son is from my stomach, of course, he should live with me!"
Husband:"how absurd! You're just talking nonsense. The bank note which is from ATM belongs to the ATM? definitely no, it belongs to the owner who inserts his card to ATM?!"

this conversation happened on the weekend when the father and his little son reached the top of the hill.
"Hey, baby, Just take a view. How beautiful view of the plain under our feet." Daddy said with excitement.
"But daddy, why did we take 3 hours to climb the hill if the sights below are sooo beautiful?? "

One day, a father saw the windows had been cleaned by his son.
The father walked into the son's room and complimented :"You did a very good job, the windows look very clear…… How did you do that? By soapy water or other things??"
"No daddy, I made them clean with a hammer." The son said seriously.

The joke happened on the morning of the day
The wife met her husband at the door.
She saw that there was lipstick on his face and alcohol on his breath.
So, the wife said angrily: "I guess that there is a very good reason for you to come to home at seven o'clock in the morning, right?"
The husband said calmly: "Of course YES. The good reason is breakfast."