Short funny dirty jokes

A guy went to hospital for his stomach illness.
"What I passed is whatever I ate, when I ate cucumber , I'll pass it, and when I ate watermelon, I pass it also, so what can I do?"

On second thoughts, the doctor said, "you could eat shit only!"

"I had an operation," Tom said to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me."
"That's terrible!" said the friend, "Is it still painful?"
"No, but I am always thirsty!"

a smart answer

Question: Why do men fart louder than women?

Answer: Because they have a microphone and two speakers.