Short funny dirty jokes

A guy felt the call of nature badly, and then he went to the toilet, but there was a queue train before the toilet, so he had to wait for his turn.

Finally, there was only one before him after a few minutes, so he asked the guy before him, "Could you let me go in first? I am bursting, please!!!"

The guy replied slowly and painfully, "G-o-d! at least you can talk to me!!!"

When I was young, I always did not have a meal well, so an uncle of mine told me a lesson, "It was a tough time when I was young, there was nothing to eat, so we never threw any boogers ..."

Lisa came to a restaurant and found there was no flies, so she asked a waiter

"Oh, tell me, can you tell me how to keep all the flies out of your shop?"

The waiter replied, "I just let the flies taste the stuff."

Oops, that is the best way to fight off flies??!!

A couple of lover were caught hold by savages in the forest, and the savage told them, "If you both eat the shit of each other, I will let you go!".

After a while, this couple were allowed to leave away when they did it. In their way home, the girl were crying, and the boy asked her why.

The girl replied sadly, "I very much doubt if you love me, you made too many shit!!!"

　A lady goes to the doctor and says, " I have a problem with gas, but it doesn't really bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. But you didn't know I was farting,right? " The doctor says, "I see. Here's a prescription.

A man went to buy sanitary towel for his wife, but he didn't know how to choose a better one, so he took a round of the store and then picked one up, asked the waiter :"How about this one? is it good?"

The waiter suddenly paused and looked at him, after 5 seconds, he replied "sorry, I never used it either, sir!".