Short funny animal jokes

In a small country store, a traveler noticed a sign posted on the glass door, which said "Danger! Beware of Dog!".

Entering the shop, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register.

So this guy asked the store owner, "Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?"
"Yep, that's him," he replied. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?"

Night is felling on the African savanna, there is a lion playing with his mistress - a zebra. Suddenly, he find his wife, a lioness is slowly walking towards him!
"Quickly!" He roars at fellow players, "Pretend that I'm eating you!"

a joke from mouse and cat

A mouse mom took a talk with her babies, then she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice.

Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life. Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language?"

An elder woman, Mrs. Clinton lost her lovely dog, so she asked the police for help.

Mrs. Clinton told the police, "Dear god, I have lost my precious little dog, can you help me?"
The police replied, "Did you put an advertisement in the papers?"
Mrs. Clinton cried, "It's no use, my little dog can't read"

a joke occurred on the orchard

Under the peach tree, a farmer was lifting his pig up to a tree to eat the peaches.

At the same time, a passerby saw him doing this and said,
"Hi buddy, why don’t you take a bunch of peaches and put them near his snout? It will save time!”

"You dummy," sneered the farmer,

"Pigs don't care about time!"

lift [lift]
vt. 举起；提升；空运；鼓舞；
vi. 消散；升起；耸立
n. 举起；电梯；起重机；搭车

sneer [sniə]
vi. 嘲笑，冷笑

A man had a pig, at the end of the day he decided to abandon it which was a boring nuisance. However, this pig was so smart that every time it knew the way to home.

One day, The man drove the car to throw the pig out, and after a while he gave his wife a call :"Does the pig at home?"

"Yes." Said his wife.
"Put it on the phone," The man said indignantly, "I am lost!"