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Short funny animal jokes

Short funny cartoon jokes and animal jokes with Chinese version.

The one dog fight

Your rating: None Average: 4 (6 votes)

Here is a joke which occured in bar.
One day, a man walked into the bar and asked, "Does anyone here own the rottweiler outside?"
"Yes sir, I have!" a biker man standed up and said. "What happened to him?"
The man told sadly:"Well, I think my Chihuahua killed him just now……"

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故事发生在一个酒吧里。
某天,一位男子走进酒吧问道:“这的人,有谁有罗特韦尔犬?”
“是的先生,我有呢!”一名骑车男子站起来答道,“它怎么了?”
男子伤心地说“是这样的,我的吉娃娃刚才杀死了你的狗……”
“我不信,你在说什么呢?!”骑车男子不信地问:“你那么小的吉娃娃是如何杀死我的罗特韦尔犬的?”
“嗯…………好像是吉娃娃咔在你家狗的喉咙里!”
………………

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Ain't my dog

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一个关于狗和他主人的笑话

一只猎犬正趴在院子里,一个老头正坐在门廊上。'“对不起,先生,你的狗咬人吗?” 一个旅游者问。老人把头从报纸上移开回答说,“不。” 旅游者一走出他的车,狗开始吼叫,然后咬了他的手和脚。旅游者近用连迦打着狗,他大叫,“你不是说你的狗不咬人么!” 老人喃喃自语,“那不是我的狗。”

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Dangerous dog

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In a small country store, a traveler noticed a sign posted on the glass door, which said "Danger! Beware of Dog!".

Entering the shop, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register.

So this guy asked the store owner, "Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?"

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在一个小镇上,一位旅行者看到一家店的门口贴着一张告示, 上面写道:“小心,这里有狗!”

进到店里,他发现确实有一条狗,但是很老很温顺的在收银台边上睡觉。

于是,他就问老板,“你说的需要当心的狗,指的就是这只吗?”
“是的,我说的就是这只!”老板回答道。
这位客观就觉得很纳闷,“这只狗看起来一点都不凶啊。 你还贴那个告示干啥呢?”

“我没贴的时候,大家经常被我的狗绊倒,所以,我贴了张 ‘小心,这里有狗’!” 店主一边收钱一边说。

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A lion with his mistress

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Night is felling on the African savanna, there is a lion playing with his mistress - a zebra. Suddenly, he find his wife, a lioness is slowly walking towards him!
"Quickly!" He roars at fellow players, "Pretend that I'm eating you!"

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夜色降临南非大草原,一只狮子正干劲十足地开始要和他的情妇-一只斑马交尾。忽然,他发现家里那只母狮正慢慢走来!
“快!”他急忙狮吼道,“假装我正要吃你!”

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The value of a second language

Your rating: None Average: 3 (32 votes)

a joke from mouse and cat

A mouse mom took a talk with her babies, then she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice.

Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life. Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language?"

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一只老鼠妈妈带着孩子出来散步,忽然看见一只猫正在灌木丛中虎视耽耽。

母老鼠向着猫叫道:“汪,汪,汪”,猫听了非常害怕,拼命跑走了。

母老鼠回过头洋洋自得的对孩子说:“现在你知道外语的重要性了吧。”

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My dog won't read

Your rating: None Average: 4.3 (3 votes)

An elder woman, Mrs. Clinton lost her lovely dog, so she asked the police for help.

Mrs. Clinton told the police, "Dear god, I have lost my precious little dog, can you help me?"
The police replied, "Did you put an advertisement in the papers?"
Mrs. Clinton cried, "It's no use, my little dog can't read"

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一位老太太,克林顿夫人丢了她可爱的小狗狗,她去找警察帮助。
克林顿夫人告诉警察,“哦,亲爱的,我把珍爱的小狗给丢了!”
警察问道:“你在报纸上登广告了吗?”
克林顿太太:“没有用的,我的小狗不认识字。”

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