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Short funny adult jokes

The jokes which are relative to adult, but they all are clean jokes.

The one dog fight

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Here is a joke which occured in bar.
One day, a man walked into the bar and asked, "Does anyone here own the rottweiler outside?"
"Yes sir, I have!" a biker man standed up and said. "What happened to him?"
The man told sadly:"Well, I think my Chihuahua killed him just now……"

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故事发生在一个酒吧里。
某天,一位男子走进酒吧问道:“这的人,有谁有罗特韦尔犬?”
“是的先生,我有呢!”一名骑车男子站起来答道,“它怎么了?”
男子伤心地说“是这样的,我的吉娃娃刚才杀死了你的狗……”
“我不信,你在说什么呢?!”骑车男子不信地问:“你那么小的吉娃娃是如何杀死我的罗特韦尔犬的?”
“嗯…………好像是吉娃娃咔在你家狗的喉咙里!”
………………

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She is at skinny dipping

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an adult funny jokes about girl nude swimming.

One day, Reno went down to the pond for a dip, but before he could dive in he spied his teacher, Mrs. Mellisa, emerging from nude bathing. When Mrs. Mellisa saw Reno, she grabbed the nearest object - which happened to be an old wooden box - and held it in front of her.

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一个关于美女裸泳的成人笑话

一天,雷诺去池塘游泳,他扎猛子前刚好看到了他的老师,梅丽莎小姐,从裸泳中冒出头来。 当梅丽莎小姐看到雷诺时,她赶紧抓过最近的一个物体---那碰巧是一个旧的木头盒子,挡在自己前面。
她对雷诺说:“年轻人,我知道你在想什么!”
“我也知道你在想什么,” 雷诺回答,“你一定以为这个盒子是有底的!”

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Your horse's phone call

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a joke from the husband who has a mistress
and he don't want let his wife know.

James is reading the paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan.

He asks, "What was that for?"
She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with 'Lissa Sue' written on it."

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关于丈夫有小蜜的一个笑话

詹姆斯正在看报纸,他的妻子走到他身后,用一只煎锅敲他的后脑勺。
他问道:“这是为什 么?”
她说:“我在你口袋里发现了一张写有‘丽萨-苏’的纸条。”
他说:“哎呀,亲爱的,‘丽萨-苏’是我赌的那匹马的名字。”
她耸了耸肩,走了。 三天后他正在看报纸,妻子走到他身后,又用一只煎锅敲他的后脑勺。
他问:“这又是为什么?”
他的妻子生气的说到:“你的马打电话来了。”

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The daughters are not yours

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who is the father of a woman's children?

A middle-aged couple, already having two beautiful daughters, decided to try one last time for the son, because they always wanted.

Soon, the wife became pregnant, and, nine months later, delivered a baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son, but was horrified to find an incredibly-ugly baby.

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一个中年女人,她孩子的父亲是谁呢?

一对中年夫妇,已经有了2个漂亮的女儿,他们决定在要一个儿子。
不久,妻子怀孕了,终于9月怀胎后,他生出一个儿子。孩子爸爸很高兴,跑到护士那里去看自己的儿子,但是孩子丑陋的长相让父亲吓了一大跳。

他跑到自己的妻子那里,问道,“真不敢相信,我能生出这么丑的儿子!”
他妻子听了之后,脸红了。他忽然怀疑的问道,“你骗了我?”

他的妻子坦白到,“这次没有!”

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Egyptian man and viagra

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This joke is from Cairo and with Viagra sale.

In the Cairo bazaar, there is an Egyptian man walking, at this time a stranger comes up to him and offers to sell Viagra (illegal in Egypt) for 100 Egyptian pounds.

So this Egyptian man replied, "No, not worth it!"
"OK, how about 50 Egyptian pounds?"
"No, not worth it!"
"OK, 20?"
"No, not worth it!"
"How about 10?"

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一个关于埃及人和壮阳药的故事

在开罗的集市上,有一位埃及人走在街上。这个时候,过来一个陌生人要卖给他壮阳药,价格是一百埃及镑。

“不,太不值”
“恩,那么五十,怎么样?”
“不,还是不值”
“好吧,二十?”
“不,仍然不值”
“最低,十块!?”
“唉,还是不值!”
“伙计,10块钱,才10块,你怎么老觉得不值呢?”
“药是很值的,我指的是我老婆不值得用这药!”

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Women rub their eyes

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smart answer

Question: Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up in the morning?
Answer: Because they don't have balls to scratch.

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脑筋急转弯

问题: 为什么女人起床后要揉揉她们的眼睛呢?
回答: 因为他们没有其他蛋蛋可以揉。

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