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February 2010

My Sister's Fingers

admin on Sun, 02/28/2010 - 10:10
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In the classroom, the teacher asked Josh for his late.

Teacher: Josh, why are you late this time?
Josh: Please sir, I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home.
Teacher: I don't see any bandages.
Josh: Oh, they weren't my fingers! I told my little sister to hold the nail.

　

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课堂上，老师问乔治他为什么没有来。

老师：乔治，这次你怎么又迟到了？
乔治：对不起，老师，我在家钉钉子，砸坏了两个手指头。

老师：怎么没有扎绷带呀？
乔治：噢，砸的不是我的手指头，我叫小妹妹扶着钉子的。

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Do it like a gentelman

admin on Sat, 02/27/2010 - 10:10
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A joke from little Kevin.

When Kevin was seven years old, Mary, who was Kevin's young sister, was five. One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.

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　　凯文年龄七岁，他的妹妹玛丽五岁。一天，妈妈把他们带到姨妈家去玩，自己就到大城市去买些新的衣服。

　　孩子们玩了个把小时，在四点半的时候，姨妈领着凯文走进了厨房。她交给凯文一块精美的蛋糕和一把刀子，并对他说：“喏，凯文，给你刀子，把这块蛋糕一切为二，给你妹妹一块。不过，你得记住要做得像一个绅士那样。”

　　凯文问：“像一个绅士？绅士怎样做呢？”

　　他姨妈马上回答说：“绅士总是把大的一块让给别人的。”

　　凯文说了一声“噢”。他对此想了一会，然后，他把蛋糕拿给妹妹，并对她说：“玛丽，你来把这块蛋糕一切为二吧。”

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We will scare your father too

admin on Fri, 02/26/2010 - 10:10
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Kevin's mother bought a 100$ Halloween costume for him to scare his friends in Halloween.

"Should I take the price tag off?" the boy asked.
"Leave it on," his mother replied. "We‘ll scare your father too."

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为了让儿子吓唬他的朋友，妈妈花了一百美金给他买了一套万圣节晚上穿的服装。“我把这价格标签拿下来吧？“男孩问。
"别拿下来，"妈妈回答。"我们也来吓唬你爸爸一下。"

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Bragging

admin on Thu, 02/25/2010 - 10:10
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I'm a vain person, so I would too much like boast of my home - Ohio.

One day, I was bragging this to a friend of mine, "You know, the first one to powered flight were from Ohio. The first one to orbit the Earth who is also from Ohio. 1st bits were flying around the moon or from Ohio. "

"It sounds as if a lot of people wound rather leave than stay in Ohio," my friend replied.

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爱慕虚荣的我总是爱在别人面前吹嘘我的家乡俄亥俄州。

一天，我又跟一位深受此折磨的朋友吹上了，“你知道吗， 第一位进行动力飞行的人来自俄亥俄州。 第一位绕地球飞行的人也是来自俄亥俄州。第一位绕月球飞行的人还是来自俄亥俄州”。

“听起来，好象很多人在俄亥俄州呆不下去了，”我的朋友说。

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An email from black to white

admin on Wed, 02/24/2010 - 10:10
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　　Dear white, something you got to know　　

　　When I was born, I was black.　
　　When I grow up, I am black.　
　　When I'm under the sun, I'm black.　　
　　When I'm cold, I'm black.
　　

　　When I'm afraid, I'm black.
　　When I'm sick, I'm black.
　　When I die, I'm still black.

　　you---white people,
　　When you were born, you were pink.
　　When you grow up, you become white.
　　You're red under the sun.
　　

　　You're blue when you're cold.
　　You are yellow when you're afraid.

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　　亲爱的白种人，有几件事你必须知道

　　当我出生时，我是黑色的
　　我长大了，我是黑色的
　　我在阳光下，我是黑色的

　　我寒冷时，我是黑色的
　　我害怕时，我是黑色的
　　我生病了，我是黑色的
　　我死了，我仍是黑色的。

　　你---白种人
　　当你出生时，你是粉红色的
　　你长大了，变成白色的
　　你在阳光下，你是红色的
　　你寒冷时，你是青色的

　　你害怕时，你是黄色的
　　你生病时，你是绿色的
　　当你死时，你是灰色的

　　而你，却叫我「有色人种」

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An funny email from facilities department

admin on Tue, 02/23/2010 - 10:10
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An funny email
Recently my workmates and I received an e-mail from the facilities department, which said, "Due to construction, your office may be either cooler or warmer than usual on Tuesday. Dress accordingly."

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一封有趣的邮件
前几天，我和同事收到了来自设备部的这封电邮：“因为基建的原因，在本周二，你的办公室的温度要么比平时热一些或要么会冷一些。穿衣的时侯请您注意作相应的调整”。

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Women rub their eyes

admin on Mon, 02/22/2010 - 10:10
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smart answer

Question: Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up in the morning?
Answer: Because they don't have balls to scratch.

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脑筋急转弯

问题： 为什么女人起床后要揉揉她们的眼睛呢？
回答： 因为他们没有其他蛋蛋可以揉。

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Good bye, sir!

admin on Sun, 02/21/2010 - 10:10
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One day, the teacher said to the students before they were back home.

"If any one of you can answer my first question tomorrow morning, I will permit him or her to go home earlier."

The next day, when the teacher came into the classroom, he found the blackboard daubed. He was very angry and asked, "Who did it?". "It's me," said Josh, "Now, I can go home. Good-bye, Sir."

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一天，放学前，老师对他的学生们说：“明天上午，如果你们当中的任何一个同学能首先回答我的问题，我就准许他或她最先回家。”第二天，老师走进教室时发现黑板被涂得乱七八糟，他非常生气的问：“谁涂的？请站起来！” 乔治说：“先生，是我，现在我可以回家了，再见！”

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smile car

Title: A smile car on the snow

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A fat man and a skinny man

admin on Fri, 02/19/2010 - 10:10
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Two guys, a fat one and a skinny guy, they were arguing about who was the more polite.

The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down.

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有两个人，一个胖子和一个瘦子在讨在争论谁更有礼貌。 瘦子说他更有礼貌，因为他经常对女士摘帽示意。但是胖子认为他更有风度，因为无论什么时候，他在车上给别人让座时，总有两位女士能坐下。

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