Short funny jokes and learn Chinese online

In the classroom, the teacher was asking James about his homework.

Teacher: James, you made so many mistakes in your exercises, surely your mother will blame you!

James: Blame me? Oh, no. On the contrary, I'll blame her, because it was she that did my homework instead.

a conversation between two students

Jim: I am going to leave college if the Dean doesn't take back what he said to me this morning.
Josh: What did he say?
Jim: He told me to leave college.

There was an accident, and a guy who is a carpenter was giving evidence about an accident he had witnessed. In the courtroom, the judge asked him how far away he was from the accident.

"Thirty five feet, tree and one half inches", He replied.

"What? How come you are so sure of that distance?", asked the judge.

One day, a prof was taking a big test to his students. He handed out all of the tests and after a while all the students handed the tests back in.

Then the professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."

The next day, the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $65 change.

Crossing a grave yard, a man saw a tombstone which said, "Here lies Josh MacGoldick, a lawyer and an honest man."
"How about that!" he exclaimed. "They've got three people buried in one grave."

Jerry asked Tom, "Which one do you think it is more important, money or friends?"
Tom answered, "Of course, friends!"

Jerry, "Why?"
Tom said, "I can always borrow money from friends."