Short funny jokes and learn Chinese online

In the classroom, the teacher asked Yao Ming a question.

Teacher: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?
Yao Ming: Big hands.

Here is a funny excuse for speeding.

James and Rosa were speeding down the road. A police car pulled them over.

"Why on earth were you driving so fast?" the policeman yelled.

"Our brakes are no good-so we wanted to get there before we had an accident!"

A short funny joke from the supermarket.

Yesterday, I went to the super market to buy some insecticide."Is this any good for beetles?" I asked the shop assistant.
"No,"he replied."It will kill them."

A joke between mother and her son

"Mum, Mum, many kids make fun of me," the boy cried to his mother. "They say I have a big head."

"Don't listen to them," his mother consoled. "You have a beautiful head. Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes."

"Where's the shopping bag?"

"I haven't got one - errrr, use you hat."

A funny joke happened in the history class, and Mellisa was surprised with the number beside the Columbus.

Little Mellisa: I find in my history book there is always such number (1451--1560) after the name Christopher Columbus. Would you please explain why, sir?

Little James: I can tell her, sir. It was Columbus's telephone number.

A short joke in the class.

The teacher had set his class an essay in "A Game of Cricket". After two minutes Mike Robinson handed his paper in and was allowed to go home. His essay read: "Rain stopped play."